You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
