office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
