My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
