I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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