Cold hands, warm shart.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
