Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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