First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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