i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
