i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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