So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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