I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize