His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Panties = found
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