he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
