dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Randomize
