I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
there is puke in my bra ... again
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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