How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
