yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
