Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
