I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
