Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize