i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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