I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize