That's when you crack a 10am beer
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
