Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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