So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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