It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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