Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
