And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
