Kiss
Puke
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
