What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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