I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
