I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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