you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize