we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
