guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
