peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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