so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
