there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
