I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
