Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
