dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
