It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
