dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
