i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
