No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
