They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
