Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
