yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
