i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
