Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
