Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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