his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
