im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
