White coat. Heels.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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