Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize