My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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