He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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