I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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