loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just google imaged poop.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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