At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she told me i tasted like america
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
