I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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