hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize