Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
