I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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